did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
