NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
