; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
