hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
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