Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
