You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
