i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
