That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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