Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
