my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
