Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
