Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
