too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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