It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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