I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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