Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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