4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
