I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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