so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
