Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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