Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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