How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize