i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
