so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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