one two three fourrrrnication!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
