Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
