hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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