:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
