i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
