Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
not ubering you a puppy
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
