remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Quick, to the slutcave!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish you could order shots online.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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