I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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