she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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