we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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