NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
