fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
