So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
