I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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