Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
