Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
