haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
