idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you made out with another girl for some wings
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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