dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
