i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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