Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
