He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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