shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
