After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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