I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
