What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
